- Julie Bos
"We Should Talk About This First..." - How to Talk to Your Partner About Abstinence
“We Should Talk About This First…”
How to Talk to Your Partner About Abstinence
Practicing abstinence only works when both partners agree to not have sex.
So if you’ve decided abstinence is right for you, the key to making it work in your relationship is to talk with your partner – especially because it can mean different things to different people.
While it may seem awkward or embarrassing, being honest with each other and making decisions about sex together is incredibly important. It’s one of the best ways to keep your relationship happy and healthy.
If you’ve never talked about sex with your partner before, here are five tips to having a healthy conversation:
· Know what it means to you. Before having an abstinence discussion, check your own heart first. What’s happening in your life to make you want to choose abstinence? How does this idea make you feel? Where do you draw the line? What is your moral compass telling you?
· Talk before things get sexual. It can be difficult to think and speak clearly in the heat of the moment, so if you think abstinence is the right choice for you, talk about your boundaries before things get too far.
· Be confident. You are in control of your body and what you do with it. You can say no to sex at any time, for any reason. Although it may be an uncomfortable conversation with your partner, being confident in your decision will help guide the conversation in a natural direction.
· Be straightforward. This conversation doesn’t have to be long or complicated. Be upfront and clear about what you want and expect. If you feel like a boundary should be made, communicate exactly what that means.
· Communicate with respect. Remember to take turns talking and listening to your partner. Be honest and respectful, no matter how the conversation goes.
Are you and your partner practicing abstinence? Share your experience in the comments below!